I was frightened, disoriented, and rabid with anger. I had lost everything, including myself. Bankrupt physically, emotionally, and spiritually, I was without hope.

On the airplane, I began to cry uncontrollably. A flight attendant asked me what was wrong. All I could say was, “I lost my daughter.” She left me alone with my grief.

At the rehab center, after two days of detox, my assigned counselor met with me and asked me to tell her my story. My eyes filled with tears. I told the counselor that I had been to five other treatment centers and they had not worked because no one could answer my question – Why had the people closest to me betrayed me?

I guess what I wanted was someone to understand my anguish and validate my misery.

And the counselor listened carefully. But at my first pause, she leaned toward me and said in a solemn voice, “I see tombstones in your eyes.” Just like that, she discarded me and everything I had said. She walked away. That counselor was my last lifeline, and it had just snapped.

The turning point

I am only alive (and sober) today because of the miracle I experienced on my third day in treatment. As I entered my room and walked by the mirror, I glimpsed something I had never seen before. I jumped back to take a second look but it was gone. Gone but not forgotten. It was like the movie The Fly, where the man is lost within the monster.

For a split second, I saw that monster. And at that moment I realized that I was possessed by a demon: addiction.

The tools that I had always relied on, and that had helped me succeed and distinguish myself — intelligence, charisma, loyalty, and determination — became weapons that my addiction was using against me, leaving me with no hope of fighting it on my own. My mind was the enemy.

With this realization, I surrendered completely. I abandoned my old self without any bargaining or even remorse. In fact, I experienced hope for the first time. I awoke to the fact that my salvation was only possible if I allowed others — my counselors — to guide me back to life.

How it works

Everything I had ever known was based on a reality that I now had to abandon completely. Surrender means letting go of everything you believe in. So for me, this meant giving up how I saw myself, my parents, my soul mate, my daughter.  All of my love, memories, ambitions, and hopes, my sense of everything and everyone that I had known and lived for — was gone.

I discovered that almost everything we think we know about our selves and our lives is a fabrication of the mind. The mind continuously distorts our reality to a point where our perceptions are cut off from our true existence. But just like in the movie The Matrix, when Neo woke up and found out he was living an alternate reality, we too have the capacity to wake up.

My discoveries

When I became sober, I learned to trust life even when bad things happen, because there are always good reasons, whether or not I can comprehend them.

And I never lost the unique traits that I had been afraid of losing, such as my personality, sense of humor and passion. In fact, my better qualities became more apparent in the absence of my ego, and without substance use.

Now, I experience more fun and natural highs from intimacy and connection, from the joy of eating and sleeping, feeling healthy, creative and productive. And these are all gifts that are forever there for me to tap into, without any hangover or depletion.

Today I am so blessed

I am completely at peace with my weaknesses, defeats, and blessings. For the most part, I live in the moment where time seems to stand still. My brain is quiet and I am able to savor the minute details of my priceless gifts — my life, health, family, friends, and my freedom. Every day is fresh, exciting, and engaging, with new unexpected opportunities to grow, fall in love, and whatever I desire.

And the incredible irony is that I have experienced far greater success in every facet of my life, even materially, than when I worked tirelessly to achieve success.

What you can do

Over 20 million Americans over the age of 12 have an addiction (excluding tobacco). And overdose deaths have more than tripled in the past 20 years. Every day, hundreds of people die from accidental drug overdoses. 

If you or someone you know is battling addiction or depression, I invite you to find out how I arrested my addiction and found greater happiness. What I experienced and the insights I discovered on my journey are the heart of my book, Higher: Awaken to A More Fulfilling Life, and I am happy to give it away for free to anyone who wants a copy. Just follow this link and request a copy (please include your mailing address and phone number.)

I believe that everyone can, and deserves to be, really happy.

The post 30 Years Ago Today I Became Sober appeared first on Charles Hanna.

Well, chances are you do know someone – a friend, colleague or family member. But they may be hiding their struggle so well that you have no idea they’re in trouble.

In fact, in the United States, more people now die from opioid painkiller overdoses than from heroin and cocaine combined. The U.S. is in the throes of a drug addiction epidemic. And it kills more Americans daily than car accidents, gun deaths, or AIDS.

In the U.S. more than 175 people die every day from opioid overdoses. These people aren’t all ‘junkies’ living on the street. They’re people with jobs and families who happen to have been prescribed opioids for pain relief. And then they start needing more and more of the drug as addiction sets in.

Opioid overdoses increased by roughly 30% across the U.S. in just 14 months between 2016 and 2017. (U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.)

No-one is immune to overdose

Although many people blame street drugs for spiking overdose statistics, it’s not just illicit drugs that are behind the dramatic rise in overdose deaths. Legally prescribed opioids have caused widespread addiction in cities and suburbs. In fact, the majority of today’s drug overdose deaths happen as a result of opioid abuse.

Opioids are prescribed to reduce pain. But many patients end up addicted to the synthetic drug. And since governments have begun cracking down on opioid prescriptions, the cost of the painkillers has increased as much as ten-fold. (In many regions, heroin is cheaper and more available than opioids. This has caused a sharp rise in heroin addiction.)

When taken in large quantities, opioids can depress functions such as normal breathing and heartbeat, until the user eventually stops breathing, leading to death. 

With fatalities from prescription drugs increasing, it’s important to spread the word that prescription medicines are not always beneficial.

Painkillers and other pharmaceutical drugs can play an important medical role, but when used (or prescribed) carelessly, these chemicals often have tragic long-term consequences.

Where there’s addiction, there is unresolved emotional pain

I began using drugs in my 20s to cope with anxiety, depression and unprocessed childhood adversity.

My dabbling in drugs for fun turned into substance use disorder, which increased in direct proportion to the growing turmoil in my marriage. I spent eight years under the influence of drugs and I was lucky to survive. I fell deeper and deeper into cocaine addiction. It systematically destroyed every aspect of my life before I started my recovery.

If you know someone who may be affected by an addiction to painkillers or illicit drugs, your first step is awareness. And compassion.

Addiction can happen to anyone.

Other ways you can help

To support National Prescription Opioid and Heroin Awareness Week, please use these hashtags:

#Opioid

#Prescription

#Addiction

#OpioidCrisis

#Drugs

#Painkillers

#Heroin

The post It’s National Opioid and Heroin Awareness Week appeared first on Charles Hanna.

We’re very excited to release Charles Hanna’s first audiobook – Higher: Awaken to a more fulfilling life – co-narrated by Charles and the wonderful Oscar-nominated and Emmy award-winning actress, Joan Cusack. You can download the audiobook on Audible. And, if you’re not already a member of Audible, your download is free!

What’s in the audiobook?

During this 5-hour audio journey, Charles’ soothing voice guides you into a higher state of self-awareness and serenity. You will come to understand why and how addictive behavior (gambling, sex addiction, substance abuse, eating disorders) develops. You’ll also learn how you can use simple mindfulness techniques to change your perspective and dissolve addictive tendencies.

In this audiobook, Charles shares his life story with humility and honesty.  He describes the 8 years he spent addicted to cocaine. Even as his family grew and his business succeeded beyond his wildest dreams, his addiction continued to worsen.

When repeated near-death experiences failed to stop his drug use, he realized he was in trouble.  But six trips through rehab still didn’t create lasting change. He spiraled more and more out of control.

It was only a chance trick of perception during his seventh trip through treatment that led to an emotionally devastating surrender. That surrender finally gave him a route toward freedom and health.

No matter what your current state of mental health – anxiety, depression, addiction – this audiobook will challenge your perceptions and give you practical tools to help you reset your life, and heal emotional traumas and mental health challenges.

For more about addiction, mental health and perception, please read Charles’ latest post on Medium.

And in the meantime, here’s a free, quick and uplifting preview of the audiobook (1.5 minutes) – let us know your response in the comments below – thanks!

The post Higher Audiobook Now Available! appeared first on Charles Hanna.

KMET1490AM – Los Angeles

Host: “You see why I had to schedule him. He was amazing. His testimony was real. It was deep. There were no excuses. What an amazing story. He was meant to live. He was meant to live to tell this story and to do that book.”

Hear the full interview

Partial transcript from this powerful interview:

Charles: I guess my first dabbling with drugs was with marijuana. But when I really fell into trouble was when I tried to dabble in cocaine. And that was back in the early Eighties when it first got introduced into North America. And ironically I grew up in a family where we did not touch anything so I was always very careful about doing anything. And at the time we thought it (cocaine) was a safe drug, only for the affluent to enjoy. And lo and behold, it wasn’t safe. And it exposed underlying issues that I had, and it developed into a full-blown addiction that I almost died from.

Aaron: Wow. So…was it like a life-and-death type situation where you were spared that?

Charles: I will tell you, when I finally stopped, which was almost 28 years ago – I am 6′ 1″ and at the time I weighed 127 pounds.

Mia: Whoa.

Charles: So I looked like a prisoner of the concentration camps. I came near death on several occasions. And I was very lucky to survive. And even at the end when I was going through the recovery process, I was quite aware that I might not make it, no matter my best efforts. And a significant change happened, which made me look at life very differently. A lot of lessons were learned and gave rise to the book eventually.

Aaron: Wow. See, this is what I always talk about, right Mia? Whenever we talk about those that have been addicted.  And the reality is that anybody can change…I always say that they can change, but the question is…some people don’t want to change. And it gets to a point where they HAVE to change.

Mia: Okay, how long were you using this?

Charles: About 8 years.

Mia: Whoa. About 8 years. How did it affect your surroundings – your family, people you came in contact with?

Charles: Well, you know, when I first started out I was at the height of my success. I was a businessman at the time. I had a corporation that was one of the fastest growing in the country, in Canada. And I was doing well on every score. I was making a lot of money. I came from very humble beginnings but I became very successful. I had lots of friends, I had lots of people that respected me, I was well-recognized in the industry, I was married, happily, I had a beautiful child. I had everything to look forward to. And this was just a means of having fun. And lo and behold, it started to become difficult to stop, and when I wanted to stop to be able to do events such as open houses and so on, I found myself incapable. And I had no idea what I was dealing with. I had never seen addiction before. And through a series of trying every possible way to control it, I just kept on going deeper and deeper and in the process I systematically lost everything in my life, including relationships, including my ability to function. And even my sanity, in the end, out of complete exasperation and not being able to do anything about it.

Aaron: Now here’s a question I have. When it came to the ending and recovery from that, what did you do to help diminish that addiction?

Charles: Well the thing about addiction – and what I talk about in the book, and what it taught me – is that there is an underlying cause for it, and it’s something that I refer to as a Perception Disorder. It is something we develop very young, in the way we look at life. We look at life from our perspective, so if a child for example is hurt, they might feel very insecure and afraid. And if they’re not nurtured properly, they might grow up feeling alone and exposed and become afraid and try to control things and push away certain things and so on. And it kind of multiplies through life. And people that have that extreme condition grow up in life wanting to have extreme control of everything in their life. And if something happens that affects that, they kind of fall apart. And that’s what I did. I had never seen it until I was in my twenties – when this happened to me. I was suffering from something – an abandonment issue that happened to me as a child – that I was not even aware of. So when you’re in the stage of having the active phase of addiction, your mind plays tricks with you. At the addiction stage, it’s now an extreme form of perception distortion where it’s almost nature’s way of getting rid of the disease – to isolate you and kill you. To get rid of you.

Hear the full interview

The post KMET Interview – How Perception Disorder Causes Addiction appeared first on Charles Hanna.

Listen to the full interview here

Drugs. Alcohol. Addiction. September is National Recovery Month. In this gritty and honest interview, talk show host Chad Benson asks Charles Hanna tough questions about addiction
And Hanna unflinchingly describes the path that led him from business success into severe cocaine addiction.

“At that time we had no idea that it was as dangerous as it is,” admits Hanna. “This was when cocaine first appeared in North America. And I did not expect it to be harmful in any way. But I’ll tell you, my addiction probably started the very first time I did it. I just loved it that much.”

Benson asks Hanna to ‘take us down the path of when you started to realize that you needed cocaine every day, and that this was becoming an issue’.

“First of all, I didn’t start doing cocaine because I felt lousy,” says Hanna. “It just made me feel much better. But as I continued to use it, my addiction to cocaine started to take hold fairly quickly. And it got to the point where I had big events for my company. And I couldn’t stop. I thought stress was the cause. So I tried several things; Like, I asked people to help me. Or I would take time off. And then I started to blame it on this and that. I couldn’t stop it. It just got worse and worse and my relationships deteriorated, my marriage was falling apart, I started to have these incredible resentments. And I could not get out of it. The more I tried – it was like quicksand – I got deeper and deeper into it.”

Everybody knows somebody who is dealing with addiction

Or perhaps they have battled it themselves. And they know what addiction can do to lives. It tears apart relationships, it tears apart work lives, personal lives, financial security. How did Hanna’s addiction take over his life?

“We would do several grams a day,” says Hanna. “And we would do that several days in a row. So the last time I did cocaine, I almost died. I did it for five days straight without sleeping, and hardly eating; I was 6′-1″ and I my weight was 127 pounds.”

What was the underlying cause of his addiction? “The irony of it is, it started to happen when I was at the height of my success. And I had everything I’d ever dreamed of: money, success, popularity, admiration – I was well-recognized in the industry, I was very happily married, I had a beautiful child, I had everything to look forward to. But when I look back, these things didn’t really make me happy, which I thought they would. And that confused me, because those dreams are what had been driving me up until then. So finally, when I had all those things – and found that they didn’t give me any pleasure – I was lost.”

Listen to the rest of the interview as Hanna describes the miracle of perception that allowed him to start his recovery.

Have you experienced addiction? How has it affected your journey?

The post Addiction – The Chad Benson Show appeared first on Charles Hanna.