In this fast-moving 7-minute interview, award-winning host and producer Bill Welychka asks Charles how the tragedies of his early life affected his life path.
Listen to the full interview here
Charles describes how the childhood deaths of two of his sisters created a deep fear of abandonment that led to depression in adulthood and the subsequent cocaine addiction that nearly took his life.
Interview Summary
What is ‘perception disorder’?
Charles: Perception disorder is the way we tend to look at life, judging everything in terms of it being good for us, or bad for us. Everyone of us has their own way of looking at the world, and their own distortions come through whatever lens they’re using.
An example of perception disorder would be if your partner says, “I really need to go and talk to a friend of mine, alone, and get some advice.”
So you might react to that with a thought like, “Well, doesn’t she respect MY opinion? Is she going to talk about me? Is she not happy with me? Does she not trust me?” It may have nothing to do with you and chances are it doesn’t, but because we see everything in terms of what it means about us, our perception disorder makes us react.
And there are many such examples. But the bottom line is that when a parent does not talk to the child about his feelings, that child develops his sense of identity not really knowing where he stands in life.
And as the child grows she becomes more insecure and tries to control her environment because she doesn’t want to feel hurt.
But the more you try to control your environment…and we all know you cannot control it…the more anxiety sets in and the more you feel fear and anger. And this robs you of being able to enjoy life.
How is addiction an extreme form of perception disorder?
Charles: Perception disorder comes in varying degrees. There are people that have extreme perception disorder where they are practically paranoid or very angry or very fearful. And I think in that extreme – where you might have 10-15% of the population – it manifests itself in addiction and other compulsive behaviour. And most people see it as “Oh, it’s just alcohol abuse or drug abuse.”
Whereas the fact is, that’s just a symptom or a manifestation of it. The underlying perception disorder that caused the abuse is still there and will continue to be there. And if you were ever to stop drinking or doing drugs, it would still be there, even worse than before.
That’s why any recovery has to be supported by a complete change in the way you look at your life.
The rest of the population that doesn’t have addictions, still suffers from perception disorder to various degrees. For example, people may not have addictions but they’re just not happy. They’re either bitter about life or angry or they have a lot of enemies, or they don’t take care of themselves. Even smoking a cigarette is an indication that something is wrong there.
And then there are others that may seem normal and they’re living a ‘normal’ life, but there isn’t that excitement about life, that joie de vivre that people talk about. And that is also a case of being robbed based on a lesser degree of perception disorder.
So we can ALL benefit from a correction to our perception disorder.
What technique can we use to achieve a higher state?
Charles: One of the best ways is to connect with a lot of people. Just being open to a lot of different suggestions, being humble, and aerating your brain, talking about your inner thoughts.
It’s very important to develop a group of friends that you trust intimately, to be able to talk about your innermost feelings and secrets and desires.
Their feedback allows you to see the world from other people’s perspective and that balances and minimizes your own perception disorder. So you tend to correct yourself. You see you did something wrong, you clean it up. You prevent yourself from doing it again. And bit by bit, you’re making yourself lighter because you’re not accumulating all of these feelings that result from your own perception disorder.
Listen to the full interview here
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